Guys, some thins are just as they are and are becaming unbearable, but what can we do about them? Is this a question?

What can we do about things/peopel that we can't process them?

Is there an generic answer for this questions? Can we even do something? I’m questioning my self the same question, lately over and over again. Looks like I came to the point where some things/ people are becoming a bourdon, some kind of the trigger to me.

I know, it’s not good to have enemies, as nowadays world is really full of enemies, you can meet them almost at the evey corrner. But are they really enemies to me, or is this just in my head?

Looks like I’m in the same industry for just too long and my brains are cooked, or is it a mistake that I play the same role in almost the same set-up for too long? Might this be the easiest way out? Do I need to change my role and things could be better?

So, it just look like for the moment I’m where I am, not willing to move, sad to hear but let’s try to address things where they are. How does the day of the engineer look like? I always assume that engineers would have great connections with other engineers, and not only with them but also with Product owners, Business analists and other team members and other people in the department. Is this suitable? Or am I just searching for something that doesn’t exits? Should I work harder to come to the point where all the poeple would be happy? Is this my job? Is it really only on me? I’m not sure, but I always expect more, always compare people that I’m currently working with with sometone from the past. Is this a problem? Did the team that I lead in the past let the bad mark on me as they were just to good and now it’s hard to find something similar?

Gosh, so many questions and not an answer to see.

Before going forward with even more questions, let stop here for a moment and see what is happening.

Long story short

Having a person working next to me, with admirable years of experience in the same domain, working in widely different roles, I still don’t see the person being proactive or even trying to cooperate.
How can the person with all those experience be so stuff and still work as it was long years ago, having engineer next to manager and change everything on the fly? I thought we came out of this with Scrum and Agile, or did we? Is thinking that everything that a person do is always correct, didn’t we learn how to say sorry and excuse our selfs when we feel we did something wrong?
Is it appropriate to raise to the engineers that you don’t see why changes takes to much time? After all the screaming that the inherited legacy code is non-maintainable and after all the pushback that it’s not possible to implement the required changes in the deadlines that they came up with? Should managers try to programm in modern JVM, giving them access is not a problem, right? We can do the technical onboarding and so on, would they be able to produce some code?

Conclusion

Some people are better and some tasks and other people with rest of the tasks, but how to be a non-toxic in all this toxic world? How to become a non-responsive person on the outside if internally I will explode, and all those things just bother me? Should I just ignore them and let others deal with it?